New Beginnings
by Alysser
Summary: Kirks past has always haunted him, especially when he deals with his family. When he has the chance to change someone's life, perhaps he'll start understanding his a little better too. Based off the bar scene. Rated for Language.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek.**

**A/N: I am not a huge writer of fanfiction, I just mostly read it. But I thought of this idea and was really happy to write this. This story will be able 3 chapters, depending how it goes it could be more. I guess it could a love/hate story for everyone, I don't know how people will react to this but I think the plot is good. Reviews, welcome ;)  
**

_'I don't get why the fuck I even came home' _Jim thought as he sat in a rental car in the parking lot of the only bar in Riverside, Iowa.

He had been crying, his face still streaked with tears. He wiped his cheeks uselessly with his sleeve. This wasn't like him at all, he never cried. Anyone on board the _Enterprise _could tell you that, well maybe everyone except Doctor Leonard 'Bones' McCoy. But McCoy would tell you, the only thing he had ever seen Jim cry over was his family. While the Doctor hadn't seen him cry very often, every time he had it would somehow involve his father, a fight with his mother, his brother _finally _calling him, or how none of his family ever showed up for an important ceremony or event.

It was about seven months or so after the Narada Incident now, Jim Kirk had been Captain of the _Enterprise _ever since. It was nearly Christmas, and the _Enterprise _was docked for routine maintenance and a shore leave for her crew. They had been in space for seven months, the deserved a break, especially since, the were the best damn crew in all of Starfleet. Jim, now regretting his decision, had come home for the first time in almost four years. His mother had known he was coming, she had seemed enthusiastic about the visit at first, when he had commed her a few weeks before asking her if she would mind. It wasn't as awkward as he thought it would be, but within about three hours of his stay she had started yelling at him about how 'he'd never live up to his father' and something about him being an 'imposter' of his father. The screaming had probably went on for a good hour before he storme d out of the house to the car and now here he was, in the parking lot of the bar where he had made the decision to join Starfleet, a decision that changed his life forever.

It's not as if Winona Kirk hated her son, she was more scared of him then anything thing else, or that's at least what Jim had concluded long ago. He was the spitting image of his father, his eyes seemed to hold his soul. These ideals and fears had caused Jim to spend his entire life in the shadow of his dead father, and yet, after all the shit his mother had put him through with all her ex-boyfriends, her marriage to that abusive _fucker_, her constant trips off planet, and Taurus...but let's not even go there, the kid still loved her. He couldn't understand what he had done to deserve all that, but he still loved her. Maybe it was simply because she was his mother, but either way he would never stop wishing, even if it were just once, that she would look at him and not have the same haunted gaze in her eyes that he always saw. He wished that she wouldn't always see the ghost of his father when she looked at him. And here he was again, crying over his mother and he had no where to go in this dead-end town but the bar. He wasn't really in the mood to face people who had thought him a miserable failure all his life, but they knew about his achievements now, he guessed. He had gotten comms and messages on his PADD from the most random people ever since the Narada Incident. Many of those people were from out here, nieghbors, teachers, even people he had gotten into a bar fight or two with.

He was finally composed enough to go in, but he sat there for a few more minutes, just contemplating how funny life was. Four years ago, Kirk had been living a dead-end life, and one night at this place had changed everything for him. His life was so much better now, yet, he still couldn't let go of his past apparently. He had found where he belonged, finally. He felt that the _Enterprise _and her crew had been the only real home and family he ever had. His 'family' had offered him places to go for these holidays, knowing full well his home life wasn't ideal. Hell, even Spock who didn't celebrate Christmas had invited him back to New Vulcan for the shore leave, but for some reason Kirk had come back here. _'What the fuck is wrong with me?', _he wondered as he looked down at his lap. His PADD suddenly chimed, and he looked at the message Bones had left him:

_Just wondering how things are going with you Jim, the offer is always on the table for you to come down to Georgia. You better be taking care of that arm too._

Jim smiled at the thought of one of his best friends, caring about him even now when they were on Shore leave. The last sentence made him smirk, he was still be overprotective, as usual. Jim had cut his arm pretty badly on an away mission, another away mission that had gone to hell about a week ago. Bones had fixed him, yet again. His arm was wrapped thickly in gauze even now, so it had been a really bad and deep gash. Kirk, decided not to answer right now. He knew he couldn't lie well to Bones _even _over a PADD typed-out message.

He got out of the car, finally, ready to face whoever was in the bar. It couldn't be worse then facing his Mother. It was moderately crowded, it always was, he concluded as he walked through the door. People immediatley began recognizing him, TJ Miller, a kid he hadn't seen since middle school was the first to congratulate he assumed, neighbors and just regular townfolk began crowding him. Even an old boss of his, some older mechanic, named Henry came up to talk with him – even after he had threatened to sue Kirk for trashing his shop after being fired about seven years ago. The cops were here, as they always were breaking up fights at this joint. They had arrested Kirk before, for stupid things he had done, all those years ago. Hence the three misdemeanors that still stained his record. They even came up and talked to him about everything ranging from his last night here to his accomplishments in Starfleet.

When he was finally able to, he sat down at the bar, in the stool he always used to sit in. He simply ordered a Corona, he wasn't in the mood to get shit-faced tonight. His reputation, even at the Academy was one involving heavy drinking and coming back to the dorms late after a bar-fight, but over the past three or four years he had thoroughly improved his habits. That's not to say he wouldn't ever get into another barfight or he would never get totally wasted again, but he was much more controlled then he had once been. His thoughts disolved as a group of about 4 typical drunken brawlers walked into the building. He had probably seen them before, but he didn't remember their faces. They walked over to the far corner of the room and sat at a table, yelling annoyingly loud.

_ 'They WOULD sit right near me' _Jim thought rolling his eyes. He noticed they kept eyeing a younger guy a few seats away from himself, he was surprised to see this kid here, he didn't recognize him. No one but locals ever came here. The kid couldn't be older then 18 or 19. He was a bigger guy, as in rather buff and strong. He dressed exactly like Kirk had when he was that age. Actually, he was wearing exactly what Jim was wearing now. A leather jacket, jeans and a white t-shirt (except his had the Starfleet insignia on it, of course). He had obviously had a bit much too drink. Jim was soon lost in thought again and didn't notice one of the drunks get up, after yelling insults at the kid for a few minutes. A sudden shatter of glass caught his attention. He looked up to see the drunks ganging up on the kid as he was sprawled on the floor, the glass he had been holding shattered around him. Blood was gushing from the guys nose and one of them went to punch him again.

Jim, thinking quickly, got up and put himself between the kid and the brawlers. "Honestly, you have nothing better to do with your pathetic lives then pick on a kid at a bar," he said daringly. This was becoming all too familiar.

He received a punch or two for that before the cops stepped in and dragged the group of drunks outside. The kid, embarrassed, probably had ran to the bathroom. Jim followed, not only to wash the blood off himself but to see if the other guy was okay. The second he walked into the bathroom he received a glare he wasn't expecting.

"What the _hell _was that for? Trying to look like a big hero, yet again!", the kid said in disgust.

"Why did I help you? You know what, I really don't know what possessed me to help you out, maybe because sometimes when I was your age, I wanted help with things and never received it. Maybe I wanted to be different then most people, different like the one guy whoever helped me out in my life," Jim replied back, calmly, stemming the blood from a cut about his eyebrow.

"Oh, because I am so sure your life was oh-so-difficult," the kid said, slight surprised at Kirk's reaction. Watching Spock perform diplomatic procedures with hostile aliens had taught Jim to behave the same, with great patience yet silent determination. He was a proffessional now, he wouldn't bring himself to lash out at a kid, no matter how arrogant the comments he was making were.

"I bet I could give you a run for your money, kid," Jim replied with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Damn, he was becoming way to much like his First Officer. The kid snorted, and Kirk glanced at him. The kid finished cleaning his wounds, improperly of course, and walked out of the bathroom without so much a backwards glance at Jim. He exited the bathroom soon after to find the kid still sitting at the bar, drinking another shot of whatever. He sat next to him and smirked at the kids eye-rolling.

"Why the _hell_ are you following me?", the kid complained. This whole incident tonight was reminding Jim of something he remembered very well.

"What's your name, kid?", he asked, not sure what to expect. The guy looked at him with a disgusted face and just simply said "CJ, CJ Pike". This night had just gotten way more interesting, especially now that Kirk knew why he had decided to come home when he had so many options laid out for him. He was brought back here for a reason.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! :D I still have no idea where this story is going but some people seem to be liking**

**it! So here it continues. I think it might be more then 3 chapters, but we shall see ;) Reviews are always welcome. I swear I am having the worst writers block ever now D:**

**Disclaimer: Still do not own any characters of the Star Trek Franchise.**

"I still don't get what you want from me, 'cause if you're thinking of giving me a whole lecture on how fucked-up my life is and how I'll never amount to anything or you're tryin' to recruit me or something it isn't -" CJ said after a few minutes of a rather awkward silence.

"Hey," Jim cut in "I'm the last person to judge someone on their "fucked-up" life and I can tell you I would never tell someone they'd never amount to anything, I know how degrading that is to hear every day of your life. And I'm not a recruiter for Starfleet, I stick to my job, simple as that."

The kid gave Jim and odd look, and probably the first look that wasn't a glare all night. He was silent for a moment and finally managed to ask "Then what do you want?,".

Jim honestly had no idea. This idea was crazy, it was ludacris. This kid was worse then he had been, what were the odds he'd ever sit here and listen to some guy who had just saved the planet and lead a "perfect life", as he had put it? "You remind me of two people I know," he finally said, not really sure what he even meant.

"If my scumbag of a Grandfather set you up for this...,"CJ growled.

"No one put me up for anything, kid. Look, I don't know who told you your grandfather was a scumbag, but that's not the guy I know. He turned my life around, and maybe you can use a little push too," Jim said. That was too daring, _fuck._ He was totally prepped for the punch in the face he deserved right now. Hell, he didn't even know if they were refering to the same person. _Luckily, _that was the one thing he did get right tonight.

Surprisingly, the kid looked down at the table for a long moment. "Well, I don't get why I am opening up to you, I don't even know you, but to be honest I've never met my Grandfather. All I know is that my Dad hated him, I was raised hating him assuming that if your son hated you, well then you were probably a scumbag. I don't understand why he hated him, I never found out, it was something to do with Starfleet but my dad died eight years ago," he finished.

"I can promise you that he is far a scumbag, but I think I can understand why your father hated him. He mentioned it to me once. He knew very little about my past, however, he did know my mother was off-planet all the time and I had a less-then-ideal relationship with my stepfather. He said he wouldn't let the absence of an important person destroy someone else's life and relationship with said person if he could help it. Hell, I didn't know what he was talking about then, but I do know that he was probably off-planet a lot when your Dad was growing up," Kirk replied.

"Maybe that's it, but he never talked about it. My mom kicked me out so long ago, I still talk to her periodically, but it always ends in a fight. I live in an apartment with 6 other guys with equally screwed up got it out of me, I live a dead-end life. I get a job a month, and I'm lucky if it lasts that long and have no relations with any of my family. Here's the crazy part, I don't have any misdemeanors yet," CJ chuckled a bit at that. "So now, if that's all you wanted – I can take care of myself, thanks." he finished with the same hostility he had started with. And here Kirk had thought he was getting somewhere. He smirked, "and this is why you remind me of another person," he stopped the kid from getting up right in his tracks.

"Oh, really? Enlighten me," Wow, this was really getting weird now. Had he really been this fucking annoying?

"Oh, he was a good-looking guy. A guy with a torn up family, whose mother couldn't stand the sight of him because he reminded her too much of her dead father, who thought his life was best spent hanging around bars and getting into fights all the time. He thought he could take care of himself all the time, you know, figuring he'd never need anyone - turns out he was way wrong. Sadly, he just discovered this about 4 years ago," Jim finished trying to hide the pained look that was threatening to encroach his face.

"Look, I've heard this speech a hundred times, it's getting old. I know I'm never gonna amount to anything, okay? You don't need to go rubbing it in about how some random screw-up I've never met found his "way" in life. That's NEVER gonna be me," CJ stated flatly. Okay, had this kid been listening to him at all?

"Oh, you've never met the guy, really? 'Cause I am pretty sure he's sitting right next to you," Kirk said, getting quite annoyed with CJ's arrogance. _'Just keep remembering Spock handle that bitchy Andorian Ambassador...' _he though, trying to keep his composure. A flip-out would be the last straw of this conversation.

"Well, didn't see that coming..," CJ said without looking up. _'GOT 'em!' _Jim thought. No one said anything for a long time. This reminded Jim of one to many conversations at the mess back on the _Enterprise_, normally involving a hung-over Engineer, an angry Doctor, and an overly-logical first officer all of whom never quite agreed on anything.

"To answer your question about what I wanted from you, well let me start by saying, I'm not telling you to join Starfleet for anyone, I'm telling you to do it for yourself. It's a new start somewhere else, that..well I could tell you need. I was the same way, but look where it's gotten me in four short years. I know you were raised with resentment towards your Grandfather, but he is really a good man, a _really_ good man. I can tell he has some regrets under his exterior, and they aren't exactly small. Some things can't be fixed, but some can. Perhaps I need to repay him for everything he's done for me, and maybe this is the way to do it. He believed in me, he believed I was destined for something better then bars and misdemeanors. I got more then I expected, and you could do. You could be out of this dead-beat place in less then a week. I know this isn't a decision you're gonna make lightly considering all your Dad has told you, and it will be difficult at first, but you will get something better then you ever expected out of it. You don't have to believe that, but you choose your own destiny, I dare you to make yours better then this." Kirk said holding up a beer and gazing around the place. He knew now, that either CJ would punch him here and now, get up and leave, or respond with something short of a miracle.

The younger man looked at him squarely in the eye. "I'm not one to turn down a dare, except I've never actually won this game," And with that, he got up.

"It's not whether they think you have won. It's whether you think you've won," Kirk said. And with that, CJ left the building. Something told Kirk he didn't need to follow him, but he wasn't exactly sure where he was going either. He could only hope that meant the same thing he had decided all those years ago.

Jim Kirk honestly had nothing left to do in this town anymore. He messaged Bones back to tell him he was going to be arriving in Georgia tomorrow morning via shuttle. He didn't bother going back to his Mom's, he knew that he wasn't running from his past anymore. Maybe this was the mark that he was really just looking towards the future.


	3. Chapter 3 AN

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

First off, I want to thank everybody who followed this story and still have it on their lists. I know it's been pretty dormant the past few months. I didn't forget about it at all. I actually really like this story. I won't go into details but I've just been busy and now am dealing with a huge change that's gonna be hard for me over the next few weeks. I'm not making excuses, I'm just bringing up the facts. Anyway, this is not just going to be a story that never gets updated. I just refuse to write a shitty chapter since the plotline is good. I know how I'm gonna end it, I just need to find the time to write the last chapter GOOD. I have a lot of things coming up so I don't know when that will be. I promise to upload it as soon as I finish it. I won't disappoint.

-Alyssa


	4. Chapter 4

**I am so sorry for not updating sooner! I've been very busy lately, but anyway, this isn't the last chapter. I am still not done with this story! Also, I know this chapter is kind of shitty. I have major writers block as I haven't written a fanfic in awhile, but either way I hope you enjoy. I ****don't**** know when the other chapters will be done yet. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

Jim walked out of the stuffy meeting room with a pissed-off Doctor and an indifferent Vulcan walking next to him.

"I can't stand these stupid dress uniforms, " McCoy scowled as the walked out of the building.

"Bones we know, we hear this every single time we have we wear them," Jim smirked at his friend. Spock just gave him a look of agreement but didn't say anything.

"I'll catch up with you two later, Admiral Pike wanted to see me, " and with that he left poor Spock with the pissed off Doctor. They were currently landed on Earth for some huge event having to do with Romulans. Pike had wanted Jim and his crew to attend this event as they seemed to have good luck in dealing with Romulans. Not to mention, the _Enterprise_ had gotten into a nasty brush with a huge "Space Kangaroo with purple feet", as Jim called it and needed a bit of a tune-up despites Scotty's protest that his girl was fine.

He walked along the campus till he reached the building that contained Pike's office. Before he entered, he smiled to himself about the many times he had to come here in his "Academy Days" to explain why he was once again bruised and beaten to shit from yet another bar fight. Each time he used to come here, he had expected to get another lecture about how much of a loser he was, but that lecture never came. Pike never yelled lectured him, sure he got mad at him once in awhile, but he never told Jim he was a complete failure at life. This time, Jim didn't know what he was in for.

Admiral Christopher Pike was waiting outside the office for him looking the same way he did everyday, except he was no longer in a wheelchair. He didn't even walk with a cane anymore, despite Doctors hounding him about it, he was fine as he insisted. "Come on in, Jim," he welcomed the younger man with a smile into his office.

As soon as he closed the door, he sat down, and got right to business as usual. "Jim, I really can't thank you enough," Pike grinned as he said it. At first, he had to be honest, he didn't have a damn idea what the Admiral was talking about.

Pike caught on to this, "Oh come on, Jim, don't give me that look…you know very well what I'm talking about. My Grandson, CJ? Remember?" he prompted.

Had he ACTUALLY convinced that kid to change his life around? He felt a rush of happiness as he remembered the events of that day. "Yeah of course I remember that," he grinned at his previous stupidity "Yeah what about him?" he asked, pretty sure that he looked like a little kid bursting with curiosity.

"Well, I heard about your little conversation with him, back at Christmas, he himself told me about it. I know people in that part of Iowa, coincidentally enough, and for years they have been keeping me updated on him. My son had a family and moved down there for work in the farming industry. Well, after he moved out, he never talked to me again. I tried to call him, visit him, and all that but it never worked. It took me awhile to realize all of that was my fault. All the while he was growing up, I was off-planet, or in California for work. I let my career ruin my relationship with my only son and screwed up a lot of things. He even got my own wife hating me for awhile. About eight years ago, he died in a car wreck. It didn't hit me until we were at his funeral that all of it was my fault. I've regretted everything since. Well, apparently he taught my grandkids to hate me, and my daughter-in-law will never look at me either, but when you talked to CJ, you sparked something in that kid, Kirk, and I can't thank you enough," with that, Pike looked up at him, all the sadness and regret seemingly washed off his face by the thought of CJ.

Jim, struck with the sadness of this all too familiar story, looked down. How could he have fixed this situation? Him, of all people, with the most dysfunctional family around?

Pike continued "He came up here the week after Christmas, and he told me everything. I never knew I impacted your life so much, kid, and it helps to know I haven't screwed up on everyone. Not only that, but you helped me get my Grandson back into my life and I can't thank you enough for it. While it can't fix everything, it makes me feel a little better about the things I regret. He's been in StarFleet Academy ever since, and he's at the top of all his classes, he wants to be an engineer," and with that Pike finished his story.

Jim was shocked to hear all this personally from Pike, he was a very private person and he never seemed to open up to anyone. "Well, I had to repay you in some way Admiral. I'm so glad to hear he's doing so well. I'll tell Scotty to watch out," He grinned at that. Pike laughed, "Well, he still has at least another year and half, but a warning would be great for Scotty."

Jim didn't want to just leave it at this, he knew he had more to say. "Admiral, I guess I really never did thank you enough for everything. All the bullshit you put up with from me. Four months ago, as I was talking to CJ, I realized how pig-headed I was back then, and that all changed because of you. You could have just left that bar that night with just an apology towards me, but you didn't. You were the first person in my life who didn't see me as a failure, you didn't give me the same haunted look everyone did when they saw me, you didn't compare me to my father, so I guess, honestly you taught me what to say that night to CJ. I'm glad I helped him, but it was you indirectly helping him too. He's a good kid, I saw that under the tough guy exterior and I honestly wish him all the best. When he's ready to graduate, send him my way, I'm sure we'll have a space available on the _Enterprise." _

And with that, the two men said good-bye and Jim Kirk walked away from the building lost in his own thoughts.


End file.
